


We don't deserve you

by 708605



Series: We don't deserve you [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Malec, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:55:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26566198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/708605/pseuds/708605
Summary: People abuse Alec. Of his goodwill, of the way he loves his family. The way he puts himself in danger for the causes and people he imagines they deserve. And most of the time, he is not recognized, even thanked.But Magnus is here now to make sure that this kind of thing stops happening.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: We don't deserve you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965880
Comments: 8
Kudos: 157





	We don't deserve you

Magnus will never be able to forget what he felt when he first saw Alec. The feeling that took over his whole being was so great. Today, being able to lie like this next to this incredible man, makes him think that he does not know what he would have done if Alec had rejected him.

Another thing he will never forget will be the look of surprise that colored Alec's face when he called him "pretty boy" just before trying to summon the demon who was supposed to bring Clary's memories back. In fact, the whole scene was a lot of fun and he loved teasing the shadow hunter with it until today.

But there was something painful about it too, something that would later become a real concern for Magnus.

Alec had terrible self-esteem. He was the type who thought it was worth sacrificing for anyone because the lives of others were always more important than his.

Alec grew up learning that he should sacrifice himself for the family, for the cause of the shadowhunters, for the institute, for his parabatai, for his brothers, that it was worth dying for the Clave. All of this turned him into someone who absolutely had no idea of how incredible he is and how much sacrifice he worth to everyone around him.

Magnus was trying to change that. He had achieved some success over the years, but every now and then something happened and they ended up in a situation like today where he wanted to kill someone for putting his great love in danger for his own benefit.

Clary was rediscovering herself as a shadowhunter. Her amnesia proved temporary, a kind of punishment for her disobedience to the angels, but after being able to see Jace again, everything started to come back and as it was not unexpected, she started to cause chaos like the first time, putting herself and everyone else around her in danger.

She had recently remembered how her mother had been murdered. By the demon that possessed Alec and forced him to kill Jocelyn with his own hands. Unlike when the situation happened, this time there was no understanding by Clary's part.

Clary blamed Alec, as her memories returned in fragments that made her believe that he wanted her mother dead. She blamed him, everyone tried to make her see that no, he hadn't murdered Jocelyn, it had been a demon, but the damage was done.

She screamed at Alec, offended him, and ran out of the institute. Jace obviously followed and sometime later Alec received a call from his parabatai reporting a fight with some demons and asking for help. Alec obviously ran. A request from his brother was Alec's kryptonite, he had never been able to refuse.

The result?

Clary and Jace perfectly fine and Alec hurt.

At a certain point in the fight, a demon ran to Clary. Alec, determined not to let the red-haired girl have the same fate as her mother, the now inquisitor in Alicante lanced himself in front of the demon and took all the impact of the blow himself.

The wound was not serious, but when Alec came home with his arm bandaged and in a sling, Magnus wanted to go to the institute to teach Clary the meaning of knowing how to behave. And to Jace what it means to be a real parabatai and to stop taking advantage of Alec all the time.

"So you mean you threw yourself in front of a demon without thinking about anything, without thinking about what that would do to me if you were killed?" Magnus asked after hearing the whole story from his husband's mouth.

Alec's silence answered everything. He thought Magnus would easily recover from his loss. He didn't think he was important enough for anyone to want him alive above anything.

Magnus sighed and pulled Alec by his good arm.

"Come on. I'm going to heal you. So you don't have to wear this stupid sling for days." But Alec stopped in place, a determined look on his face.

"No. You will not heal me. Tomorrow when I am more rested I will draw more iratzes and in a day or two I will be fine."

Magnus wanted to shout at Alec the absurdity of it all. How could he think that Magnus would want to see him suffering for two long days if he could heal him here and now?

Then something lit up in Magnus's mind. Alec didn't want him to get tired of using his magic to heal him. Alec thought he's not worth a little fatigue for Magnus.

This made the warlock want to scream even louder.

"Alec. I'm perfectly rested. Healing a wound on your arm won't exhaust me. And when are you going to learn that doing this kind of thing is something I do because I love you?"

Alec looked doubtful at Magnus, but let himself be taken to the room, where the warlock helped him out of the sling (with some painful sighs), from his shirt (with some grimaces of pain) and when he started to unroll the bloody bandage, the shadowhunter was unable to contain a groan.

"What exactly is your injury?" Magnus could find out for himself with his magic, but he wanted Alec to speak, he had a habit of keeping everything locked up inside himself, and sooner or later it would explode and it wouldn't be pretty. Therefore, Magnus made his mission to pull things out little by little from the beautiful and totally oblivious man in front of him.

"When the demon ran to attack Clary I put myself in front with my seraph blade, the impact was great and it broke my arm, iratzes heal broken bones, but besides being a bad fracture, the demon stuck his poisoned claws on my arm, that kind of wound, iratzes can't completely heal, you know." Magnus sighed. Alec could have called him, the warlock would have run to the infirmary to cure him of the demon poison.

"Let me work on this, but then Alexander, we are going to talk about this story of not asking for help." Magnus said as he concentrated on extracting any trace of poison and healing bones and flesh as he did." The arm would be sore for a few days, but nothing compared to waiting for the poison to leave the shadowhunter's body on its own.

It took a few minutes and Magnus would never admit that he used up a little, but he managed to extract all the poison and heal the injured tissues. Alec's arm didn't even look like he had such a serious injury only a little before.

"You know how it works. It will be sore for a few days, but it is practically completely healed. Later, we can add some ice to help with the pain." Magnus said, Alec then smiled for the first time since he arrived and kissed his husband's lips.

"Thank you. You didn't have to. But I appreciate that you take such good care of me." How to be angry after such a statement? At times Magnus wanted to shout at Alec's parents and brothers, how they let him grow up thinking he didn't deserve attention and care, that he had to be strong all the time, even when he suffered and everyone knew? Or they should know at least.

"Sweetheart. I don't do that kind of thing for you because I have to, I do it because I love you and because I never want to see you suffer if I can cut it short." It has to be slow, Magnus knows. He cannot overload Alec with complex and very emotional speeches. The chance of a fight is great and that is not the point here.

"And I'm going to have a very serious conversation with biscuit and your parabatai, they need to grow up. You can't run to help them whenever they get into trouble and confusion, they need to stop being two idiots. Loss of memory or not that it has always happened and needs to stop."

"Magnus..."

"No Magnus me, Alexander. Jace specializes in acting on your insecurities and guilt, he knows you well and uses it. He knows that you feel guilty about Jocelyn's death and uses the speech that you are parabatai and you have obligations to him, but that is not true. I see much more dedication to the bond on your side than on his." Magnus was upset now. They kept hurting Alec and this needed to come to an end.

"I couldn't leave them alone, Magnus. I agree with you, they need to stop getting into trouble, I warned them since the day that Jace brought Clary to the institute first time, and even though my feelings were confused at that time, he does not care and many of the problems we faced could have been avoided if someone had heard me." Magnus was proud of Alec, he was talking about his feelings, that was a huge victory.

Magnus understood. They were brothers and Alec would never stop worrying, it was his nature anyway and it was one of the reasons why he was so special. He was the kind of person who would do anything on behalf of those he loves.

"And Magnus, I know you fooled me in the beginning too." Alec said with a mischievous smile on his face and the warlock's eyes widened in surprise. When had he deceived Alec? He had been brutally sincere from day one.

"I never lied to you, Alec. I may have hidden my real feelings a few times, but I never lied straight to your face." Magnus was offended by his husband's unfair accusation.

"Okay. You mean it wasn't you who stole my stele for Jace to open the institute's safe and get the mortal cup?" Alec asked with a defiantly raised eyebrow.

All the color drained from Magnus's face. How had Alec found out? The warlock was going to turn Jace into a duck just because of that betrayal. He had asked no one to tell Alec.

"Alec ... I ... I was afraid, for me, for my people ... I never meant ..." Magnus stammered, there was nothing he said that could excuse that act. He did steal Alec, at a time when he was hurt, vulnerable, and distracted.

"Hey! I'm not upset. I understand that at that time we weren't close, you didn't owe me anything. I know you were trying to do the right thing. I just want to say that we all do things that seem right at the beginning, but they become an unexpected problem later." And there it was again. Alec realizing that people lied to him for a fair reason and he had no right to be upset.

That little lie when they weren't even a thing was always in the back of Magnus' mind and it troubled him now and then, today was the time to do the right thing and apologize. If Alec had taught him anything, it was that you should apologize whenever necessary. And now it was Magnus' turn.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Even if I thought back then that I was doing the right thing, it was wrong. And yes, I took advantage of you, the moment you were in the room changing the bandages on your arm and I took your stele while you were distracted because you were hurt. I'm not proud of it, so forgive me, but I'll understand if you don't." And there were tears in Magnus' eyes. And Alec's heart ached for bringing this stupid matter to the surface so much later.

"Stop it. I forgot about it a long time ago. I really understand. Don't cry, my love. I don't need an apology for this." And Alec hugged her husband so tightly and with such love that the warlock just wanted to cry more.

"None of us deserve you, Alexander. But I really want you to try to think of yourself more often. That you try not to fall headlong into all of Jace's crazy schemes or run without looking sideways in the middle of the street to save everyone all the time when it can easily cost your life. There are people who would be totally destroyed if you left too soon." Magnus said, looking into Alec's amazing brown eyes and hoped he would understand.

"Enough of that. Let me enjoy that you healed my arm and let's snuggle on the couch and watch that stupid show you like." Alec said pulling Magnus to the couch who was laughing at his stupid husband, he also liked the show, he just didn't want to admit it.

"Whatever you want, my love. Forever."

**Author's Note:**

> Well, it always bothered me that Magnus made such a hell out of the soul sword thing and no one even mentioned that he and Jace lied and stole Alec's stele to open the institute vault. It seemed like a lot of hypocrisy, so I decided to talk about it here.
> 
> It also bothers me how Alec is always treated as inferior and throughout the show (note that I haven't read the books entirely yet) Jace has abused their parabatai bond so much.
> 
> The way Clary always seemed so selfish in her outings also pissed me off. I know that in the end she redeemed herself and gave something important to her also on behalf of others, but often the way she did everything without thinking about consequences drove me crazy.
> 
> I hope you don't hate me right now, but that was one of the things that I wish the show had focused on at some point.
> 
> Thanks for reading and if you got here, know that I really appreciate your time.


End file.
